


Krabsward

by Skillet_Writer



Series: ShipBob PairPants [1]
Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Flirting, M/M, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27686551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skillet_Writer/pseuds/Skillet_Writer
Summary: Mr. Krabs makes advances on his sarcastic employee.
Relationships: Eugene Krabs/Squidward Tentacles
Series: ShipBob PairPants [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024635
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Krabsward

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so the first chapter is a little short.

“Mr. Squidward! Front and center!”

Squidward sighed and rolled his eyes. Why was this man always so extra with everything? This wasn’t the damn army he was working at, this was the Krusty fucking Krab. Squidward liked to think that it was some suppressed form of PTSD from his Navy days that drove his actions, and not just the flamboyant old man being obnoxious for the hell of it. At least that made Squidward think twice before getting pissy with him. _Remember your karma, Squiddy._ Why did he always have to tell himself that? Shouldn’t it be second nature by now, to remember that he always winds up in some trouble when he thinks he has it in the bag? Shouldn’t it be normal that he just shuts up and lets idiots be idiots? There was no use in protesting or whining; not with karma like his. Despite that, he always found it hard to keep his sarcastic mouth shut.

“Oh, joy,” said Squidward, flatly. “I can’t wait to be subjected to the latest brand of torture. We all know each day brings forth new blessings!” He clasped his tentacles together and spun a little, the fakest smile on his face. 

“Ah, quit’cher ballet dancin’ and cheesin’ and look me in me eyes. I didn’t even tell ye what it is that I wanted from ye yet and yer _already_ givin’ me lip. Honestly, Squidward,” Krabs said, chuckling, “I wouldn’t mind the lip if it was different lip ye were givin’ me.”

Squidward froze in place. The restaurant was busy. Not quiet enough for everyone to have heard that suggestive remark, but busy enough that it may have caught the attention of a customer or two. His red pupils darted around the room, scanning each table frantically. A bubbling of anger rose within him. It was one thing for Krabs to humiliate his employees by running the place like a pirate ship, but it was another to casually make eyebrow-raising connotations towards them within earshot of an entire lot of people.

“Are you trying to _fluster_ me?!” Squidward said, tone firm but hushed. He approached the crab, who was leaning on one of the wooden poles, and stared him down. “Well, I’m looking at you now, Eugene. That’s what you wanted, right? So kindly tell me, _if it isn’t too burdensome a favor,_ what the kelp you woke me from my nap for?” _Oh, shrimp._ “I- I mean my.. my-”

“Yer nap.” Krabs, a claw on his hip, shook his head in what seemed to be mock disappointment. He pursed his lips in a frown. “Aargh, Squidward. I thought ye knew better than this. We’ve gone over this before. SpongeBob’s a little dense and even _he_ understands Krusty Krab policy. Knows it word for word, actually. ‘No sleeping on the job.’ Say it with me now. No sleeping on the job. No _…_ ”

“Mr. Krabs!”

“ _No..._ ”

“...Sleepingonthejob.”

“What was that?”

“Sleeping on the job!”

“Hm? Gonna have to speak up, Squidward.”

“I _did!_ ” he growled, hopping up and down. “Sleeping on the job! Sleeping on the job! _NO_ sleeping on the goddamn job, we _get it._ ”

“Mhm. And what did ye do?” Krabs smirked.

“I slept on the job. Can I go now?” He turned to leave, but an elongated arm stretched out in front of him and pulled him by his torso. In a mere second, he found himself tucked under Krabs’ arm and headed for the office. “Ugh!” he groaned. “Mr. Krabs, your armpits are wet!”

“Everything’s wet.”

“You know what I mean!”

“Heh, well, I also know that in a short time from now, it won’t just be me underarms drippin’.” Mr. Krabs couldn’t help but smugly show his teeth, grinning, upon witnessing Squidward’s disgusted expression. “Do me eyes deceive me? Is that _blush_ I see?”

“I’m just so sick of working here that it’s had a physical effect.”

“Oh, Squidward. These jokes of yers never get old!”

“I’m serious, Mr. Krabs! You can talk to my lawyer.”

“What lawyer?”

“Dammit. Y-you can ask my doctor!”

“Frankly, I don’t give two hoots,” Krabs said merrily, opening the office door. “It’s all bullshrimp to me! Now c’mon, Squidward, I’ve got a little task for ya.”

“Neptune, help me.”

“Neptune don’t love yer sorry behind. The sooner ye accept that, Mr. Squidward, the better. For _all_ of us.”


End file.
